Insights from Ethan Kross's "Chatter"

If you talked to others like you talk to yourself, you wouldn't have any friends. We all have that inner voice, the internal chatter that runs through our minds daily. It can be a relentless critic, sowing seeds of doubt and anxiety. In his book "Chatter," psychologist Ethan Kross delves deep into these inner conversations. I almost gave up on the book. The first few pages made me think it was collection of vague anecdotes; I was wrong.

Kross reveals how chatter can affect our health, relationships, and performance. When we’re stuck in a loop of negative self-talk, it can cloud our judgment, increase stress levels, and even impair our ability to connect with others. But it’s not all doom and gloom. Kross highlights several strategies we can use to manage and redirect our inner dialogue.

The Power of Illeism

One of my favorite technique Kross discusses is illeism—referring to oneself in the third person. Greg enjoys this one a lot, but his wife doesn't. This simple shift in perspective can create psychological distance, allowing us to view our situations more objectively. For instance, instead of saying, "I’m feeling overwhelmed," try saying, "Greg is feeling overwhelmed." You might feel a little silly. I wouldn't suggest saying it outloud.

Ethan Kross’s "Chatter" provides practical tools to turn these inner dialogues into a source of strength. By understanding and managing our chatter, we can improve our mental well-being, enhance our relationships, and achieve greater success in our personal and professional lives.

I listened to "Chatter" by checking it out of the Omaha Library. If you didn't know already, the library has a wide collection of audiobooks you can borrow. If you want to buy a hard copy, don't forget to try our local bookstore, The Next Chapter.